Pastor's Commentary

King Solomon receives the Queen of Sheba in this picture from an illustrated Bible.

Pastor’s Devotional for October, 2010

This month’s devotional is from the Pastor’s Commentary on Proverbs. Click to go to the Complete INDEX of the Proverbs Commentary

Proverbs 11.12

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.

A particularly memorable interaction in Jane Austin’s, Emma, occurs after Frank announces that “Miss Woodhouse requires something very entertaining from each person—either one thing very clever, or two things moderately clever, or three things very dull indeed....”

brock watercolor of miss bates To this challenge, Miss Bates exclaims, “Then I need not be uneasy. Three things very dull indeed. That will just do for me, you know. I shall be sure to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth, shan’t I?”

Emma did not resist: “Ah! ma’am, but there may be a difficulty; you will be limited as to number—only three at once.”

Miss Bates did not immediately catch her meaning; but, when it burst on her, it could not anger, though a slight blush showed that it could pain her. “Ah! Well—to be sure. Yes, I see what she means, (turning to Mr. Knightley,) and I will try to hold my tongue. I must make myself very disagreeable, or she would not have said such a thing to an old friend.”

Later, while waiting for the carriage, Mr. Knightley rebukes Emma: “How could you be so unfeeling to Miss Bates? How could you be so insolent in your wit to a woman of her character, age, and situation? Emma, I had not thought it possible. Were she a woman of fortune, I would not quarrel with you for any liberties of manner. Were she your equal in situation — but, Emma, consider how far this is from being the case. She is poor; she has sunk from the comforts she was born to; and, if she live to old age, must probably sink more. Her situation should secure your compassion. It was badly done, indeed! You, whom she had known from an infant, whom she had seen grow up from a period when her notice was an honor, to have you now, in thoughtless spirits, and the pride of the moment, laugh at her, humble her — and before her niece, too—and before others, many of whom (certainly some,) would be entirely guided by your treatment of her.”

Emma Woodhouse felt the thrill of belittling a neighbor, Miss Bates in this case. “Cutting down” another person makes us feel important quickly; it is a direct path to self-exaltation. When we are ashamed of who we are, or even if we simply lack confidence, we may make up for feeling low by lowering others. And note well, even Mr. Knightley admits that Miss Bates is a somewhat foolish woman. But “her situation should secure your compassion.”

We easily laugh at others’ weaknesses; God suffers with ours. Mr. Knightely calls for the same compassion from Emma which Jesus showed in the incarnation. “Compassion” comes from Latin words meaning “suffer with.” Likewise, “sympathy,” derives from Greek words meaning “suffer with.” Jesus has compassion because he sympathizes with us. Rather than laugh at our weakness, Jesus became weak. Rather than mock our spiritual dullness, Jesus was himself derided. Rather than cut us down, he was himself broken and beaten.

Any fool can open his mouth and fault a friend (or his nearest neighbor, or brother, or sister). Wise men and women recognize that it is not discernment or maturity that enable me to see others’ faults; it is the common faultiness we share. Wisdom and understanding enable us to remain silent when our neighbor displays a lack of sense.

God did that for his loved ones. We lack sense, but Jesus remained silent about it before the court of law: like a lamb before its shearers. Now the Father hears his silence and exalts those who trust in him. So look not to your own self-exaltation, for you will end up brought low (by a Mr. Knightely or by God). Solomon asks us to trust God enough to wait on him to exalt the wisdom of our silence.

Related Passages for Further Study
• Proverbs 11.9
• Proverbs 12.18
• Proverbs 14.21

Questions for Further Discussion:

When do you have trouble remaining silent instead of belittling a friend or foe?
What feelings does it give you to hurt another with your words? What would you lose if you gave up those feelings?

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